What Your Political Bumper Sticker Is Actually Doing

So you're cruising down the highway in your sporty little red Miata, and there's what has to be an old person in a biege Toyota driving the speed limit in the left-hand lane. You're pretty sure you're required by law not only to pass him, but to cut him off and tap the brakes just to make him pay for abiding the law and all that crap.

As he blares his horn at you, you feel the tiniest bit of remorse. But don't worry, it's a momentary thing, because you have your POLITICAL BUMPER STICKER working for you! It really doesn't matter what party you go for. In your head, it always goes something like this:

(YES, that's what I think a Miata looks like. Sorry.)

Now that the person in their rightful place behind you has seen your generic, lazy idea of support, you know that their reaction will be one of two things, depending on your own affiliation:

Democrat:

 Republican:

Unfortunately, it almost always actually goes like this:

Republican:

Democrat: